This week has been hellish so far. It's no excuse for a lack of progress on all fronts, but there it is.
In a moment I'm going to be dismal, but I think it's important to clarify that my life isn't a complete mess. I have a wonderful, wonderful man, he's supportive and caring and loving and altogether a great person. When I'm with him nothing else matters, often we can just sit together enjoying each other's company no matter what else is going on.
And despite all the things that could be bette at work, my job is picking up in an odd way. Nuances that are in essence a bad thing are in fact forcing me to take more responsibility, learn and grow. Things that were good remain good, they're set to give me experience I really needed and broaden my horizons.

So to the dismal:

The house is a mess. I cannot keep it clean and in a ridiculous, cruel way, that makes me feel like a failure as a woman, a girlfriend, everything. It's gotten to the point now where I think we actually just need a huge clear out. Perhaps I'll take a day off to do it. A brutal cull.

Activities The only ones I have are very sad, and on hold.

• I play Warcraft, Warcraft hasn't been worth playing for months. It will be very soon, and I'm looking forward to it. But I won't feel comfortable spending time on that til I sort the house out.
• I haven't sewn anything in months, despite the need to do so, including a repair for my BOSS. Once again I feel like if I get that started I'll just make the house even worse.
• Singing hasn't happened pretty much since I left uni. A brief period in G&S at Cambridge three years ago and a really rubbish civil service choir can't count after so long. Some movement here - I've looked into two groups that'd be local to me, but they're all 'term' based, so will have to wait til January. Have already made sure duty can't muck it up.
• Tried to get myself involved in something new and interesting in the form of roller derby, but buying equipment before I've even tried isn't my cup of tea
• Have totally failed to find a pole dancing club. Thought it might be fun.
• Reading - I picked up a non-trash, intelligent book lately from my degree days. Thoroughly enjoying the descriptive language of Frances Partridge - it's a diary and it's better than most modern novels - and although I do enjoy good ole science fiction, maybe it's about time I read some sensible things and joined a book club?

Friends. I actually did make a push forward on this, a little one, by making plans to go try out two separate singing groups, a Gilbert and Sullivan one in Pimlico and a general one in Turnham Green. Also went out for dinner with one of my work friends. Don't go out with people from work enough, need to work on that.

Fitness Gah. £80 a week to go eat secret whoppers and never even look at an exercise machine. Wondering whether I should just give up the local gym membership and take up one nearer to work. Perhaps with the singing cgroups to go to it'd be a good opportunity to fill the time between work and that? Would love to have a pay as you go option.


Why is it that people put off all the changes they need to make in their life until the new year? What's leading me to procrastinate week after week? Must get on with it.